February 14, 2010

• Looking for somebody to be in love with is something most single people continually search for in their everyday lives, and in many cases non-single people still feel the same way. There are those who are hoping for that “love at first sight” ideal that it’s easy to find somebody to love, and share the rest of their lives with. It usually comes down to two things however, finding love based on compatibility, and finding love out of incompatibility (“opposites attract”). Okay, maybe there’s a third scenario… finding love out of passion, although I believe that actually applies to both of the previous situations.

  I fall under the side that believes it’s really important for a couple in a relationship to share common interests, as I feel that the idea of “opposites attract” will only get you so far. Sure finding somebody who is very different from you could mean that it just allows the chance that it makes you a better person by broadening your mind of who you could be, with that person’s help. I suppose I’m cynical in thinking that in the end, all that really happens is that somebody in that relationship eventually just wants to change the other to be more compatible, and we all know that idea hardly ever really works out for the best.

  With all that said, I got to mention that I recently re-watched the movie “(500) Days Of Summer” and a few lines of dialog between an older brother (Tom) talking to his younger sister (Rachel) about somebody he is falling in love with, needs to be repeated here…

  TOM : She likes Magritte and Hopper. And we talked about Bananafish for like 20 minutes. We’re so compatible, it’s insane. Well, she’s not like I thought at all. She’s amazing.
  RACHEL : Oh, boy.
  TOM : What?
  RACHEL : Just ’cause some cute girl likes the same bizarro crap you do, that doesn’t make her your soul mate,

  Rachel makes a great point that not everything falls under just being compatible to make a successful relationship, but I’m sure you can’t deny that it helps a lot. The key is simply balance, patience, and understanding. That’s always been important with life in general anyway. So if you start with finding somebody that you already share common interests with, it helps ground the relationship to those compatible features although that isn’t where it should end. Everything “extra” that you don’t necessarily share similar interests will determine whether the relationship will grow stronger or just fall apart.

  Although I have a particular point of view on the subject, I admit that analyzing how to find somebody to love and having a relationship may be all fine and all, but the truth of the matter is that nothing is finite. Love is not pure science, and it’s not really that simple to explain. Anything can and will happen. People end up together in unpredictable and even predictable ways. Overall, it comes down to this one other line from the movie, as said by the main female character the film title is based on…

  SUMMER : It was meant to be.

  • 7:56 pm
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