January 25, 2005
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a top ten list of movie / tv / anime action cliches that I wished they would STOP doing…
10) Cars that explode because they can – by now people know that this
is the running joke in action movies. For whatever reason, cars
are just these fragile things that blow up from the slightest impact
from anything. If this happens so easily, imagine the many car
accidents that happen in the world. boom! boom! boom!09) Cars that survive from landing a really high jump – correct me if
I’m wrong, but can cars really survive after being really high up and
landing on solid ground? You’d figure an axel would break or something
and the action would just stop because they’d have to run the rest of
the chase on foot.08) People who walk away from explosions – last time I checked, if
there was an explosion happening behind you, you will be blown away by
it’s force. Even if you are able to withstand it, the debris from the
explosion would knock your head off since you’ll be an easy target from standing up.07) Shooting logic – That’s right, bad guys can’t shoot one good guy if
their lives depend on it, and the good guy always seem to make his mark
when shooting the bad guys. Also if you were in this line of dangerous
work, wouldn’t you use kevlar armor?06) People crashing into glass windows – There’s a reason that they use
breakaway glass when they do these kinds of stunts, because it hurts!
If somebody jumps through a glass window, you should be knocked
unconscious from the impact.05) Wire fu – Now that everybody has seen Jackie Chan in action, it
seems that they also learned how to fly around and do fancy martial
arts when they don’t have a gun handy. Not only that, but whoever they
are fighting ALSO knows the wire-fu!04) Last second saves – It’s too unbelievable when you stop a bomb with
only one second left. It’s too unbelievable when you catch a
falling person right before they hit the ground, and still be able to
stand. It’s too unbelievable when you are able to stop an enemy
right before the good guys implement their “we have to use this
powerful device that might also destroy our own land or kill our own
people because we got no choice” weapon.03) Bullet time – Unless you are the Matrix, you better have a good reason to use this special effect!
02) Cars that catapult when hitting other cars – The last time I
checked, cars do not have ramps on their rear bumper. So why
would cars fly up into the sky when they rear end the car in front of
them? I can understand if they flip over from the impact, but actually
fly over? hell no.01) Happy song in a tragic moment- ooohhh somebody is going to
tragically get their brains blown out, or some family is about to be
burned alive, or somebody could have been saved if the hero did
something else…. so let’s play a nice happy song like “what a
wonderful world” because it’s sooo ironic to play a song like that when
it should be sooo inappropriate. Pulls on our heart strings?
Nope, more like a finger down my throat.
